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Thought For the Day
by Mike Winstead
STUPID PEOPLE AWARDS
1.
WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired
President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance
package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2.
WITH A LITTLE! HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in
Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After
firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the
man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting,
"Please come out and give yourself up."
3.
WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have
a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two
different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper
proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4.
THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas, Kwik
Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer.
Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store
clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until
police showed up and grabbed him.
5.
DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck
with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself
during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup
to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot,"
the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6.
ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? A man spoke frantically into
the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only
two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor
asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7.
NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!! In Modesto,
California, Steven
Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of
America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a
finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep
his hand in his pocket.
(hellllllooooooo!)
8.
THE GRAND ! FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella,
located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield,
California, some folks, new to boating, were having a
problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in
almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a
nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was
wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in
perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive
went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and
pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to
check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was
laughing so hard.
NOW
REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE ....
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the
trailer.
Does
any one else find it frightening the majority of these took
place in California?? |
